Let’s have some fun. You have:

The Right to life as long as you generate profits for corporations.

The Right to be degraded at the Job Centre if you do not generate profits for corporations.

The Right to have your life be policed by the Tories

The Right to live in the gutter as long as it isn’t in a posh area

The Freedom of unpaid workfare

The Right to a secret trial

The Right to be punished on Iain Duncan Smith’s whims.

The Right for the government to interfere in your private and family life

The Freedom to be spied upon

The Freedom of thought, belief and religion as long as it is approved by The Sun.

The Freedom of expressing right-wing soundbites

The Freedom to be beaten up by the police and sprayed by Boris’ water cannons if you dare to be uppity

The Right to marry and start a family only if you earn over £25000

The Freedom to discriminate, especially against the disabled

The Right for your property to be fracked up

The Right to education as approved by Tory supporting loons.

The Right to participate in free elections as long as you vote Conservative

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